Too shaky
by xApologizexmex
Summary: Missing scene in 6x02 after Lisbon has been released from the hospitel. Jisbon a lil more imitate than usual. Is this angsty? I don't now... maybe a lil. Lisbon can't eat, she starts to realize what has happened to her. Jane's just being a good friend. Tried to make it bittersweet x


**Disclaimer: No. Never have and never will own it. xx**

**A/N: This is set whereas episode 6x02… it had been in my head for a very long while… and I finally just wrote it down. I just thought that Lisbon would be much more hurt and scared after what had happened before and the fact that Red John hooked her like a fish. **

**Actually there's no plot, not really fluffy... meh I don't know xd it's a lil something. **

**Hope u enjoy anyway x**

**Too shaky **

Lisbon was sitting at the dining table in her apartment. Quietly. She hadn't even touched the vegetable broth in front of her. The spoon next to the shell was still untouched. The shock was starting to break down. When she had been released from the hospital she had felt much better.

The shock that Red John had caught her like a fish hit her hard now. He had painted his smiley on her face, with Partridge's blood.

Otherwise, she was completely unharmed. On the outside. Inside, deep down, hidden inside her, she was scared to death. She was unable to move, to eat.

Outside it was dark and she could see her pale thin face in the light of the window. Two big, round eyes looked at her. Scared.

When she could no longer take the unbearable silence in her apartment she left the food standing on the table and went thoughtfully into her bedroom and began to undress herself. She slowly peeled out of her work clothes, put her gun at the nightstand and then put on a much too large men shirt. The sleeves were too long and the upper part looked altogether like a dress on her.

She was about to go to the bathroom when the doorbell rang. Slowly she shuffled back into the dining room and looked through the peephole. When she saw it was him she thought that this was just good, she really needed somebody's closeness.

Red John wouldn't ring and she had no friends.

She opened the door. "Hey."

"Lisbon."

He had come over because he had been worried. About her. In the hospital she had stood in shock, had hardly realized what had happened, but now everything collapsed around her. He did it because he had been through this experience far too often and being alone at this time was the worst.

"May I come inside?"

Jane looked at her. The shirt she wore was at least 4 sizes too big for her and obviously it was also a men's shirt. Something you didn't expect from her. As she stood there, leaning against the door frame, curly hair wearing pajamas she looked like a child. The tough CBI agent was completely gone.

"Sure." She took a step aside and Patrick went into her apartment.

It was strange, he had only been there twice, but still knew where her fridge was. Jane opened it and stared inside. "Meh." Then he went to the dining table at which Teresa had sat down again in the meantime. "Soup?" He asked, looking at her. She had put her head on the table and now holding it in her hands as if she had a headache.

"Yeah. Vegetable soup or something like that... "

Patrick smiled, but then he watched her closely.

"Oh Teresa, you haven't eaten anything yet."

She looked away, wondering why her eyes filled with tears. She never cried when someone was present. Actually never, but there had this one time in her apartment with Jane a few years ago. Jane came closer, knelt down in front of her.

She was crying.

He had only see Lisbon cry once and he knew that he couldn't say anything. Here, no words were appropriate.

None.

The only thing that would help her would be closeness.

He got up and picked her up. He held her little body in his arms and sat down again, so she was now sitting on his lap.

"Jane..."

He took her face in both hands and wiped away the tears. The tears of fear. Then he kissed her on the forehead.

"You have to eat something..."

Under other circumstances, she would've most likely protested, but at that very moment she just felt too weak to argue with him. She was incredibly cold and she was glad for his warmth. His fingers had annealed on her cheeks.

Jane took the spoon, raised half a spoonful up and held it to her mouth. Teresa slowly opened her lips and let him push the spoon inside.

_It was the most intimate they had ever shared._

Red John was the problem. It was his fault. Without him, it might be even possible that they could admit their feelings. But under these circumstances they just could and should not. It was far too risky that he'd find out about them and did very bad things to them.

And what he had done to Lisbon was bad enough. He had shown that he had all, each lever in his hand and let them walk into the trap. Grinning and gleefully.

Jane fed Lisbon the whole soup, he was so careful. Loving.

"Is it okay?" The question was asked vague on purpose, she should interpret it the way she needed it.

"I'm tired..." She looked uncertainly at him. "And... thank you. I-"

"I know. It's okay. We won't talk about it tomorrow." He smiled slightly. "It's okay to be weak sometimes."

She just nodded.

Then she tried to get up, but her legs wouldn't carry. Her legs were shaking too hard for her to walk so he simply picked her up and carried her to her bathroom. There he put her down on wobbly legs, stabilized her with his arms while she brushed her teeth.

Then he laid her back into his arms and went into her bedroom and put Lisbon in her bed. She looked so small and delicate in the white covers that he didn't want to let go. The idea of leaving her alone while she was so weak and scared and going to pretend tomorrow that none of this had happened was unimaginable difficult.

"I will always be there for you." Jane gently stroked her cheek. "Sleep tight Teresa. I'll stay here for a while for the case that..." He trailed off. "Okay?"

"Yeah, thank you... Patrick." Then she turned and snuggled into the soft fabric of her blanket. She was so exhausted and tired.

When Jane stood up she immediately missed this heat and she wanted him back… she had never felt that weak and vulnerable.

* * *

><p>Patrick had put the dishes in the dishwasher and was now standing in the middle of the room. For moment he stood motionless in her apartment and that was when he heard it. A soft muffled sob. Followed by a sniffling.<p>

Teresa was crying.

He sat down on the bed and lifted her in his arms.

At first she was startled about his determination and total confidence with which he put her into his arms. She wanted to be strong, she was an officer of the law, she was obliged to behave professionally, but that was just too much right now. The last few months had been hard for her and especially for Jane.

As Red John had answered Lisbon's cell phone he had thought she was dead. He had dread, paniced, he couldn't loose her. She was more important to him then he'd thought. She meant not just something to him, he cared for her. Her skin had been so pale and lifeless when the emergency services had carried her out of the house. But she was alive.

So she let go. Just once. Only tonight.

Lisbon snuggeled closer into his chest, breathing his scent in and out.

"I can count on you not to tell anybody about this right? From the team…"

Jane whispered incomprehensible gentle words in her ear until she slowly drifted away. Promising her he wouldn't tell anybody.

Just tonight he would stay and be there for Lisbon, the woman who had always been there for him.

He gently stroked her hair and kissed her forehead, longing. It was good that she was already asleep, they had to remain professional and imprison to catch Red John and then and only then they might have a future together.

**A/N: Hi, me again xd I watched 7x01 today and *smilinga1000voltsmile* omfg this is so perf *-* **

**Please leave a review x)**

**As always: If there're any mistakes, tell me, I'll correct them. **

**-A x**


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